KEEPING WORCESTER IN THE DARK

The current edition of WOMAG proves once again to be nothing more than a pile of advertisements stapled together by nepotistic garbage. Either these writers are too lazy to venture outside of their beloved cAnal district or just too lazy to dig beneath clique-thick mediocrity into the true underground scene of Worcester. In either case, this last edition shows same-ole-same gimmicks never get old to the local yokels at 101 Water Street. Glad I'm not the only one to notice this time.

Why is that the only music generating a buzz in local media is so laden with gimmicks? Flock of Asswhipes dressed like clowns, playing 80's metal covers - Jason James, dressed like an asshole playing Setzer rip-offs - and now a bunch of fedora wearing pseudo-hipsters gathering around a piano playing hokey Cole Porter songs shot in sepia.

The latest issue of the Worstever Magazine focused on the latter, which they audaciously say, "is reviving a slice of musical history, reshaping club culture and transforming the music scene in a stylish and intellectual manner that underscores the diversity and depth of worcester's new culture climate."

Wow, I had to read that line of shit twice. This "story" reads more like a grant application than a piece of journalism. Particularly when the thinly disguised Nick's ad goes on to say, "an eclectic mix of artists, writers and city intelligentsia, the human elements that form worcester's unique cultural aesthetic." COME ON! "City Intelligentsia?" How pretentious can this writer get? Moreover, how downright phony!? City intelligentsia - get the fuck outta here. This writer Martin is lucky that this town's true intellectual elite moved outta Worcester thirty years ago...

First and foremost, in terms of "reviving a slice of musical history" the costume clowns are doing only what countless other jazz artists have been doing since the music was written in Real Books back in the 70s. The only difference here (which is hardly unique at all) is that the particular group of musicians rely on costumes and toned photography to sell their show instead of musicianship. Maybe this is what WoMag meant by "stylish" and "intellectual". But as far as this costume party "underscoring the diversity and depth of Worcester's new culture climate," that's a stretch of the imagination difficult to reach even for the most creative grant writers around.

There is absolutely nothing culturally diverse or new about playing Cole Porter music whatsoever. This goes well beyond the fact that Porter himself was knocking off black music of his time and making it sellable to whitey or that his rich kid biography falls very short of the real historical essence of jazz in America. No, this has to do with the fact that countless other jazz artists throughout Worcester have been jamming the American Songbook since the songs have been published. Furthermore, there are countless other Worcester venues besides Nick's that have been supporting these artists for just as long.

So why the giant cover story and photo shoot centered around Nick's and the handful of musician's there (one of which writes for the WoMag, surprise surprise...)? What about Luciano's in Union Station, Dzian Gallery, Gilrein's, the Ecotarium, VIA, Val's in Holden, or even Bergson's 1790 in Westborough. ALL of these places have live jazz music regularly. What about the real local jazz musicians that have been laboriously exerting their efforts around Worcester for decades earning very little limelight or even livable wages? Why aren't guys like Joe D'Angelo, Richie Falco, Lou Borelli, or Clyde Wheatley even mentioned?

Is it because these venues aren't booking their writers as PR reps? Is it because these clubs aren't applying for the Creative Economy Initiative grant money? Maybe it's because these musicians aren't on staff at the WoMag? Maybe it's because they aren't donned in full costume and there's not enough gimmick involved to make the sale?

My guess is that this would require a little researching on the writer's part. A few phone calls to local venues or WICN and some venturing outside of their own street would have been too much work for the old WoMag. Instead of putting together some solid copy on the persevering jazz scene that's been grinding it out here in town against all the odds for so many years, or the multiple venues that support this brand of culture that has been steadily fading from the scene - we get another humdrum advertisement for the bar down the street from the paper.

No matter how many facelifts or staff changes this rag undergoes, nepotism and payola still reign supreme at 101 Water Street. If I wanted a stapled pile of crudely created advertisements, I'd just subscribe to the Pulse. I guess I'm the only one to blame for occasionally picking this pile of ads up from off the street and bringing it home, mistaking it for local journalism.